Excited? Scared? Sad?

ow. Can you believe it's almost been a year since I went on mat leave? I got back to work in mid-July and I just can't believe how quickly time has passed. I look at my son every day and I can't believe how quickly he has grown. Now he has so much character and he's so fun to be around that I'm getting really nervous as my return date for work approaches. I've spoken to other moms that were in similar situations as I have and some have told me that they could not deal with being apart from their child that they decided to leave work and be a stay-at-home mom. Others have told me that they could not wait to go back to work and be amongst adults. At first I thought I was going to be the latter because I was a work horse, a work-a-holic. Now I'm not so sure. The first few months when I was on mat leave it was HARD. I hardly slept and I missed being in the company of adults. Now that I've developed a set schedule and my son is sleeping through the night I have a lot more time to do my own thing. I've started doing what I love- designing. I really didn't do much of that while I was working. Well I was designing, but not designing my own personal stuff. I was designing for the magazine that I was working for. It's funny because although I'm a designer I always second guess myself. That's why I was always so stressed out at work. Now I've really started to build confidence in my work and I want other people to see that. So I'm excited to go back to work because I really want to show my new self to my co-workers. I also miss making money. I know that sounds a bit odd, but I feel so domestic at home. Although my husband and I have a joint bank account I feel weird taking out money from our account to buy stuff for myself. I didn't feel that way when I made my own money. I feel like I had the right to spend money because I made it. Enough rambling. We'll see when the D-Day approaches how I'll be.