Currently reading...

arma by Cathy Ostlere. Remember my resolutions for this year? Well, I haven't forgotten. I started reading this book a couple of days ago and I'm really impressed with it. It's not written in a typical novel style, but more of a poetic verse style. It's a story set in 1984 when a 15-year old Indian girl travels to India with her father after her mother's suicide in Canada. They go to India to deliver her mother's ashes to their final resting place. However, the day they arrive the Prime Minister of India (true story) is assassinated causing the country to go into chaos. I haven't gotten too far into the story to see what will happen next, but it is a beautiful book. Just this morning while I was reading about her mother's depression leading to her suicide I was struck by how much I could relate to her story. Both my parents were immigrants to Canada in the 80s and I could see how coming to a brand new country could be so lonely and depressing. Lots of people talk about North America as the land of opportunity and a place to go to give a better life to their children, but it's all at a cost. My parents had a good life in Korea. They both had good jobs and lots of family and friends. I'm not sure why they decided to leave that all behind and move to Canada with 3 young children, but they did. Luckily my parents moved to a city where there were lots of other Korean immigrants, but in this story, set in Elsinore... basically in the middle of the prairies, the mother didn't have any friends. I'm not sure if I'm breaking any copyright rules by including an excerpt from the story, but I want to share with you what really brought a tear to my eye:

Taken from page 70-71:

No one in town ever talks to me, Amar (Amar is the husband)

Then you must talk first. Be friendly. It takes time.

Time? We've lived here nine years.

You have to try harder.

Why should I have to be the one to try so hard? Do you know that one day a woman actually reached out and touched my sari? Like I was a bolt of fabric in a store. Such rudeness.

Then wear a dress. Some pants. Leave the sari for home.

Never. Canadian clothes are hideous. They are little better than a scarecrow's. Would you consider not wearing your turban?

That's different.

Oh, yes, Amar: That's different. If you're a man. If you're a Sikh. I'm just a Hindustani woman in this godforsaken place.

You must learn to hold your head high, Leela.

I can't any longer. Their eyes burn through my skin. I feel like I must apologize and I don't even know for what!

Well, then stay home. And never go out again if that pleases you.

I can't live like this, Amar. You must take me home.

There's no money, Leela. The shop needs new tools.

Then just one ticket. Please.

You'd leave your daughter and husband behind?

For a visit, Amar. A few months. That's all.

Stop these selfish thoughts, Leela! Your life is here.

But this isn't life! It's a slow death.

When I read these pages I thought of my mother. I thought of how much she had to suck in her pride to live here. She's worked hard all her life. I know that I couldn't uproot my family and move to a country where I didn't know anyone and didn't speak the language. It's unthinkable to me. Now that I'm a mother I constantly think about how brave my parents were. I could never do what they did. Of course now they love it here and couldn't imagine not living here, but I know how hard it was for them to make this their home.

Goodbye 2010, hello 2011!

appy New Year's Eve everyone!

I hope everyone has a safe and fun night tonight. I wish I can say that I'm getting all dolled up to go to a swanky party to ring in the new year, but I'll be enjoying a quiet night at home with my family. There's nowhere else I'd rather be :-)

2010 was a big year for me because I turned the big 3-0. I'm usually not a big resolutions person because I never follow through with it, but I feel like making one for 2011. Here goes!

1. I want to be more spontaneous. Both my husband and I are pretty practical (him more than I). Everything we do is planned out to a tee. I remember telling my husband the other day that one of the best times I had was when I was going through a tough time at work and he called me up and said to me, "Why don't you go home and pack your bags. We are going away for the weekend." He whisked me off to a ski resort a few hours away from the city and it was one of the most fun I've had. This was before we had the baby so we can't really do that anymore, but then again, why not???

2. I want to be more romantic. My husband and I have been married 4 years now. I know that isn't a long time, but already we are like an old married couple. We do the same things every weekend and even on birthdays we go to the mall and pick out our gifts. We didn't do that before, but lately everything is so... blah. I want to plan something special for Valentine's Day in 2011. I don't remember the last time I did something special for my man.

3. I want to read more. I used to read books all the time. This was a looooong time ago. I feel like my brain has gotten stupider (is that even a word???) because I just don't read. Even bringing a book with me for my commute in to work would be the first step.

That is it for now. There's a lot more I want to do in 2011, but I narrowed it down to 3 so that I can actually accomplish these goals. Wish me luck!

BTW, I got my print that I ordered for my shoe shelf. I'm a little disappointed in how it arrived because it wasn't packaged very well. My print was a little bent at the top. Also, the colours were a lot more subtle in person than what I saw online. Also, the illustration looked kind of pixelated- like it was enlarged from the original. I'm being very picky here. It's just that when you don't get what you are expecting it's always a little disheartening.

Look how the colours in the illustration is so washed out.

The background was supposed to be a pink, but frankly it just looks white.

Here's another angle.

Maybe for those of you who are thinking of ordering from this seller, choose a print with more contrasting/vibrant colours?

On a side note, see my ring/earring tray. The peach cocktail ring is my latest addition. I got it from Forever 21 for $3.80! I have another jewelry case on my vanity dresser so don't think these are the only rings/earrings I have!